After I posted my CL posting about my blog, I thought I would try it out for myself. I’m a quality, well-educated single female looking for a nice man. So, I wrote a post for myself — a little self promoting — but hey, you have to do what you have to do to land a man. Some friends even encouraged me over whatsapp to give it a shot. The subject was “curvy and intellectual” and I described myself as having a good job, being well-educated, and looking for someone to complete my life (though, to be honest, my life doesn’t feel particularly “incomplete” but you get the point). One girlfriend even proofread the post through whatsapp before I hit publish. I posted this a week or so ago and the responses have just begun to dry up. I think my post is no longer active now. A couple of guys even asked for my whatsapp right away, but I wasn’t about to hand that out like candy.

So….my friends…the responses were fabulous! Of course, there were your share of penis pix and snarky assholes, but I’ve actually managed to make a few nice connections as a result of this exchange. I even screenshot some of the funnier replies and sent them to my bestie on whatsapp for a good laugh. Here are some of my favorite responses (removing any identifying factors, of course, to protect the innocent). The first response I got read: “Is your ad real?” At first, I was put off by this, but then I slowly realized that there are a lot of spam ads on CL so his question was legit. I even told a friend over whatsapp, “Can you believe this guy?” Then there was Tom. He sent me his picture. His eyes were squinting and he was doing a really dorky pose. Next. I couldn’t resist sharing that pic on whatsapp with a “bless his heart” caption. A few responses later, I got a long email that included a lot of “LOLs.” We all know how I feel about people who overuse “LOL.” Next. My whatsapp group agreed with me — one “LOL” is enough.

This one was one of my favorites: “You sound amazing!!!! I wish the sane perfect women like you liked guys my age ;) ” Dude, who are you calling sane? But, after a few email exchanges, it turns out that the guy on the other end was a depressed and lonely 22 year old cutie pie who complained that younger women don’t do it for him. I suggested he try some Prozac and give it the ole college try! He asked for my whatsapp, but I politely declined. Of course there were the creeps who only wanted to see a “pic.” Next. I didn’t even bother mentioning those in whatsapp chats with my friends because…why waste the data? Then there was Stan. Oh, Stan. Stan’s original email said “Dear Curvy intellectual, i like your straightforward approach. Its refreshing,Im very interested. Im an ivy educated ex/football player whose intellectual pursuits include histort,archarology and political cartoons.” I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t sure that Stan was really “ivy educated” with the amount of typos in his email. Maybe he meant that someone named Ivy taught him in school? So, being the smart ass that I am, I challenged him on this. Needless to say, it did not end well. I relayed the whole thing on whatsapp to my cousin, and she laughed for ten minutes straight.

Moving on. I got a lot of emails from guys ranging from 22 to 65 claiming they were “blond, blue-eyed, and former football players.” Oy. Some of them even dropped their whatsapp right in the first message like it was a secret password. And, to be honest, a lot of really sweet, genuinely kind emails from seemingly decent men just looking to meet a “curvy and intelligent” woman. A couple of them have graduated from email to casual whatsapp chats, which feels like progress. Probably the coolest and funniest moment was when I Googled one of the guys and it turns out we practically grew up in the same neighborhood. Smallest. World. Ever. I sent the discovery on whatsapp to my childhood friend who couldn’t believe it. I’m still talking with a few of the men I met on Craig’s List. I’ve promised my family that I won’t do anything foolish or stupid by meeting someone from this experiment without fully vetting him. Even my mom asked if I at least checked their whatsapp profiles before responding. If “the one” ends up being in this group, you’re all invited to the wedding! And yes, I’ll send the invite over whatsapp first.